I remember as a child I loved to travel. My favorite insect was a butterfly. The way it grew from a caterpillar and went through metamorphosis always fascinated me. I always would envision myself growing wings and flying away.
My dad was my greatest hero. He would fly away in his taxi and always bring back goodies. His afro reminded me of a vivacious bush. I would sometimes sit in the backseat, just in awe of all the places he would go. I love how he blasted his music. Through him, I fell in love with African music. Both of us would sing along to Brenda Fassie. I imitated the Xhosa language to the best of my ability. His love of music entwined with mines.
To look up to someone and learn they passed away in a tragic manner is a huge travesty. Brenda Fassie overdosed on cocaine and slipped into a coma. My dad slipped into a diabetic coma last week after neglecting his health. Nothing hits you harder than the loss of a parent. I have never cried so much before in my life. It feels as though a fog is over my head, and I can’t get out of it.
Daddy, you were my first love. I remember sitting on the steps waiting for you to get home from work. I remember all the times you were present and all the times you were not. I had dreams of you walking me down the aisle when I get married. You were selfish and generous at the same time. Your words could make me laugh, but also sometimes cut like a knife. I never fully understood you. Sometimes I feel like I am in a bad dream. My first love took me to meet my long-distance love. Two paths crossed that meant the world to me. One ended, and I hope the other one continues to bloom.
How To Deal With The Loss
1.) If you have to cry, cry.
Research shows that keeping your emotions bottled up inside causes high blood pressure. It isn’t healthy. Let your emotions flow and you will feel a weight lifted off of your shoulders.
2.) Keep your hope alive.
People who have a belief system are more optimistic. Meditate on your hope. It will keep you in good spirits.
3.) Reflect on the good times.
My Dad was there for me even when no one else was. You will be missed and I look forward to seeing you again.